Answer to a Prayer
by Emily-chan
Summary: [CCD] My first fanfic! Suoh and Nokoru have a chat about Kami-sama. Will Nokoru's prayer be answered?


answer

DISCLAIMER: All characters are property of CLAMP, except for Julie, who is mine. And Kami-sama, who is not property of anyone. ^_^ This story was written for entertainment only.  
  
WARNINGS: Rating: PG-13 Contains shonen-ai, mildly descriptive violence, references to God, and an incredible amount of sap. If any of these things offend you, please do not read this story.  
  
* * * * *  
  
ANSWER TO A PRAYER  
a CCD fanfic by Emily-chan  
  
I'm so glad it's almost over! Nokoru called from the bathroom. He rinsed off his toothbrush. Just one more final, and then I'll be finished! Today's was the worst, though. _Oops, I shouldn't have said that, _Nokoru thought. _Now I've given him the perfect opportunity to scold me for not studying._ Nokoru waited for an admonishment from the bedroom, but it didn't come. He poked his head out of the bathroom.  
  
Suoh was kneeling next to the far side of the bed, his eyes closed and hands clasped. He made no reply. Nokoru flopped down on the bed and propped his chin up on his hands. Whatcha doin'? he asked.  
  
Suoh replied flatly, without changing his expression.  
  
Nokoru tilted his head. he laughed. What for?  
  
Suoh opened one golden eye and gave Nokoru a stern glare. Nokoru smiled apologetically and gave a small sigh of relief as the eye closed. Even _his_ charms couldn't get him out of _that _look.   
  
Finally, Suoh unfolded his hands and stood up. Gomen, Suoh, Nokoru apologized as he pulled his friend onto the bed. I never knew you prayed before. Do you do it every night?  
  
Suoh shrugged his shoulders as if it were no big deal.  
  
How come I never noticed? Nokoru asked, sounding slightly hurt.  
  
Well, I usually try to do it in private so I won't be interrupted, Suoh replied, placing emphasis on the last word as if to indicate that he were mildly offended. He turned to Nokoru with a small smile and a devilish gleam in his eyes. Of course, you've usually got other things on your mind, anyway.  
  
Sou da ne, Nokoru laughed as he turned off the bedside lamp. He leaned back thoughtfully in the darkness. Ne, Suoh, what do you pray about?  
  
Lots of things, Suoh said offhandedly.   
  
Like what? Nokoru asked.  
  
Well, that no one tried to kidnap you today for one; and for you, myself, and Akira, and for my family, and about finals; stuff like that. I used to pray that Hahaue wouldn't try to kill me in my sleep, but now I pray that I won't fall out of your bed.  
  
Nokoru laughed again, that merry, musical laugh that Suoh loved so much. Ah, so that's why you always hold on so tight! His voice took on a gently teasing tone. But Suoh, does Kami-sama really answer your prayers?  
  
Suoh bristled somewhat. _He really can't be serious about anything that doesn't involve women, can he? _Of course, he replied. Haven't you tried it?  
  
Me, talk to Kami-sama? Nokoru laughed. I wouldn't know what to say.  
  
You don't need any special words. Just talk.  
  
Nokoru seemed to be pondering this in the dark.  
_  
Maybe...._ thought Suoh.  
  
Ne, do you think Kami-sama would answer my prayer for you to let me go to the fireworks tomorrow night?  
_  
No, he really can't. _Suoh chuckled as he slid his arms around Nokoru and nestled his head in the curve between his friend's shoulder and neck. he replied, kissing the pale skin, if He answers my prayer that you'll do all your paperwork tomorrow.  
  
* * *  
  
Sugoi, sugoi! Akira clapped as Tokyo Tower was lit up by a shower of red and gold sparks. I'm so glad we came! Aren't you glad Kaichou finished his paperwork, Takamura-senpai?  
  
Suoh sighed. As much as he hated trying to get Nokoru to do his paperwork, it was better than trying to protect him in a crowd of hundreds of thousands where anything could happen. Still, Nokoru really did love fireworks, and this celebration for the anniversary of Tokyo Tower was going to be one of the best all year. He would have done ten, if not a hundred times the paperwork just to come.  
  
Ano... Takamura-senpai?  
  
Forget it, Akira, Suoh just doesn't know how to have fun. Nokoru raised his voice to make sure Suoh would hear him over the fireworks and the crowd. Even though no one knows we're here, and even if they did, it's too dark. No one could possibly find us. He casually flipped open his fan, which had written on it.  
  
Suoh responded with a look of disgruntled disbelief at the man standing next to him. _Do you really not realize that even if you wore a flashing neon sign strapped to your head, you could not possibly stand out any more than you already do? _He sighed again and went back to scanning the crowd for signs of danger. True, this many people would make it difficult for a kidnapper to get away quickly. But it wasn't always kidnappers....  
  
Suoh's attention was now focused on the structure of the tower. He was dimly aware of Nokoru and Akira next to him, discussing their favorite fireworks. Of course, Suoh doesn't even look, Nokoru was saying. Suoh smiled grimly in the darkness. _That's right, I don't look._ Though he didn't like to admit it, Suoh always felt a certain amount of pride when he deprived himself of something for Nokoru's safety. _I don't look, and that's why you're still alive. That's why you're not chained up in a dungeon somewhere or being forced to hack into government computers._ And that was why, while Suoh was not looking, he instead noticed the small flash of light that was definitely _not_ a firework.  
  
Nokoru watched bemusedly as Akira vividly described his favorite firework. Suddenly, he felt Suoh's body leaning against him. Unable to counter the ninja's weight on such short notice, they both tumbled to the ground. Mattaku, Suoh, you should be more careful. Nokoru tried to push Suoh off of him, but recoiled when his hand touched something warm, wet and sticky. Nokoru's eyes widened in horror as he watched blood, so thick it looked black in the darkness, pour out of his friend's chest.  
  
  
  
  
  
Nokoru and Akira carefully rolled Suoh onto his back. Kuso! He must have been shot, Nokoru hissed angrily. He unbuttoned Suoh's blazer and pushed it back. The white shirt was already red with blood. Akira! Call an ambulance and see if you can do something about this crowd! Nokoru ordered. Damn it, there's so much blood, I can't even tell where it went in. His shaking fingers fumbled on the slippery buttons of Suoh's shirt. His mind was racing. _The bullet must not have gone through, or it would have also hit me... it was supposed to have hit me.... _Finally, he was able to peel back the soaked fabric to reveal blood gushing from a wound in Suoh's left shoulder. Nokoru hastily pulled off his own blazer and wrapped it around his hands, then began applying pressure to the wound. _Not again, not again...._  
  
Nokoru had no idea how long it took for the ambulance to arrive. He knew nothing of the sirens, or of the crowd pressed around him, or of the tears streaming down his face. Were the fireworks still going on, or was that his own heart pounding? All he knew was that after what seemed like hours, some men in white uniforms came and took Suoh away, and Akira was leading him by the arm somewhere, and he somehow ended up in the hospital back on CLAMP Campus. And that he was covered with Suoh's blood. And always there was that voice in his head, telling him that his best friend was dying and it was his fault....  
  
Kaichou. Kaichou! Akira's voice brought Nokoru back to the world around him. The doctor's here.  
  
Nokoru blinked at the middle-aged man in a white doctor's coat bowing before him. Nokoru nodded, indicating that the doctor should continue. We were able to remove the bullet and stave off infection. However, the most critical factor is the large amount of blood that your friend lost. We have done everything we can, and now we just have to wait and see if he will recover. Frankly, the doctor's voice faltered. Frankly, the chances don't look good.  
  
Nokoru swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. I understand, he said softly. May I see him?  
  
Certainly. Please, follow me. The doctor led Nokoru and Akira to Suoh's room. A policeman stationed outside the door eyed them carefully as they entered. Nokoru's breath caught in his throat as he saw his friend lying on the hospital bed. Suoh's normally tan skin was ghostly pale, and tubes of all sizes ran in and out of his body from various machines. Silent tears streamed down Akira's face as Nokoru slowly approached the bed and took Suoh's hand into his own. It didn't seem right; Suoh was always so strong and warm, but the hand that Nokoru was holding was limp, and the skin was cool to the touch.  
  
Nokoru had just barely begun to think about all the things he would say to Suoh if he ever had the chance again when a nurse came in and informed them that they would have to leave. Nokoru asked weakly. Why can't I stay?  
  
Please, Imonoyama-sama, the nurse explained, it's hospital policy. It is well past visiting hours. Besides, you could probably use some rest. You are more than welcome to stay in the waiting room, if you like.  
  
Nokoru's voice was soft, but firm. I want to stay here.  
  
Please -- the nurse began, gesturing toward the door.  
  
Nokoru's voice grew louder. I'm staying here.  
  
But... Imonoyama-sama, the nurse protested, there's really nothing you can do for him here.  
  
Nokoru turned his brilliant blue eyes on the nurse. They were filled with vehemence. Nothing I can do? As he raised his voice, his whole blood-stained body began shaking. Nothing I can do?! He was now shouting at the nurse, as well as the doctor and the policeman, who had rushed in when they heard Nokoru's voice. Even if I just sit next to him and hold his hand, I can do that!  
  
The frightened nurse clutched the doctor's sleeve. Akira was shocked. Never, in all the years he had known him, had Kaichou ever, _ever_ raised his voice to a woman. The police officer made a menacing move towards Nokoru, but the doctor put out his hand and stopped him. It's all right, he said softly. He can stay.  
  
The officer reluctantly returned to his station outside the door, and the doctor left, consoling the nurse, who was now in tears. Akira cautiously approached Nokoru, who had collapsed onto the chair next to the bed. He still held Suoh's hand, and was sobbing quietly. Akira gently put his hand on Nokoru's shoulder. he quietly asked. Would you like me to stay?  
  
Nokoru turned his shining eyes up towards his friend. Arigatou, Akira. But I think I'd rather be alone for a while.  
  
I understand. Akira gently squeezed Nokoru's shoulder, and then bent down and kissed the top of his head. He didn't know why he did that, except that it seemed to be what Kaichou needed. He silently turned and left the room.  
  
Once Nokoru was alone, he gave up all pretense of strength. He let his head fall on the bed next to Suoh's pale, limp hand, which he kissed as he wept. He had never seen Suoh look so weak, and Nokoru himself had never felt so useless. _If he dies, I'll never forgive myself,_ Nokoru thought. _There must be something more I can do. There has to be.  
  
Talk to Kami-sama....  
_  
Nokoru took a deep breath. Would it really work? It was the only thing left for him to do. _Kami-sama -- _he began hesitantly, then dissolved under another wave of tears. He hoped that Suoh was right about not needing any special words, because all he could think was, _Please... please... please...._   
  
After Nokoru had cried all the tears that were in him, he felt an inexplicable sense of peace wash over his body. Lips still pressed against Suoh's hand, he fell asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
Julie-san, where are you? The young boy with curly golden hair was on the verge of tears as he stood alone in the dark room. He clutched the stuffed penguin he was carrying even tighter.  
  
I'm out on the balcony, came the reply. The boy's expression immediately changed as he ran out onto the balcony and into his governess' arms. the pretty young woman scolded gently. You should be asleep. Why aren't you in bed?  
  
The boy shook his golden head. It's too lonely in my room to sleep. I want to be with you. He looked up at his governess with wide blue eyes. What were you doing, Julie-san?  
  
I was looking at the stars, Julie replied. Do you remember what I taught you about the stars, Nokoru-kun?  
  
the boy answered happily. Julie listened with pride and a little bit of wonder as her young charge, who was not even old enough to be in kindergarten, perfectly pointed out the constellations and rattled off the names of various stars.  
  
Very good! Julie laughed. She hugged the boy closer. Ne, Nokoru-kun, she whispered. Do you know what else stars can do?  
  
The boy's eyes grew even wider as he turned to face his governess.   
  
If you pick out the brightest star, and concentrate really hard, you can make a wish!  
  
Hontou ni?  
  
Julie nodded.  
  
The boy searched the sky for the brightest star. Can you wish for anything at all?   
  
  
  
the boy asked dubiously, will it really come true?  
  
Well, not always, Julie said. But if it's something you really want, and you wish with all your heart, Kami-sama will surely give it to you!  
  
The boy's expression fell as he looked up at the stars. Even at his young age, he knew what would happen if Kami-sama gave him his wish. It had already happened to Julie-san twice, and she almost hadn't survived the last time. He didn't want anyone else to be hurt because of him. In that case.... The boy turned his eyes downward. In that case, I won't wish.  
  
Julie was surprised at her charge's sudden change of temperament.  
  
Iie, it's nothing. The boy looked up again, and the charming smile was back on his face. Julie-san, will you tuck me in and tell me a story?  
  
Hai, hai! Julie laughed, the way she always did whenever she saw that smile. What story do you want to hear? she asked as she carried the boy back to his room.  
  
Eeto... I know! Tell me about your best friend....  
  
* * *  
  
Nokoru awoke to something stirring against his lips. _That dream again...._ Suddenly, he realized what had woken him. He leapt to his feet. Suoh stirred again and then slowly opened his eyes. Nokoru smiled weakly.  
  
Suoh's eyes focused on Nokoru and filled with alarm. He tried to sit up, but his chest was strapped to the bed to prevent the tubes from being pulled out. Nokoru, are you all right? he asked, his voice filled with concern. You -- you're covered in blood....  
  
Nokoru laughed through the tears streaming down his face. _That's Suoh, all right, _he thought with relief. _As paranoid as ever, and always thinking of me first. _ he said. It's yours. He pulled the chair closer to the head of the bed and sat down, pressing Suoh's hand to his cheek. I guess we should call the doctor, he said, eying the call button. Although after all that doomsaying, they'll probably be terribly disappointed to learn that you'll survive. Does it hurt much?  
  
Not right now, but I'm sure it will when I come to my senses, Suoh replied. He looked at Nokoru's tired, careworn face. It was bad, wasn't it?  
  
Nokoru shifted his gaze to Suoh's blanket. he whispered. I was really scared. He looked back into Suoh's warm golden eyes. But I knew you would be all right, because of the feeling I had after I prayed.  
  
Suoh was touched by Nokoru's seriousness. He smiled. See? I told you Kami-sama would answer your prayer.  
  
Nokoru shook his head and gave Suoh his widest smile. he said. He answered my prayer a long time ago, before I even prayed it. He sent me you.  
  
~owari~  
  
* * * * *  
  
7/22/01   
Yay! My first fanfic! Yes, I know that someone who comes from a long line of ninjas should probably have a more eastern religious philosophy, but this is the way I like it, so there. Please feel free to e-mail me with any comments, (constructive!) criticism, or if my Japanese needs fixing. ^_^ Arigatou gozaimasu!   
~Emily-chan   
emily_chan12@hotmail.com   
  
GLOSSARY  
gomen: sorry  
sou da ne: that's true, isn't it?  
Kami-sama: God  
sugoi: amazing; wonderful  
Kaichou: Nokoru's title as Student Council President  
senpai: title used for a higher ranking co-worker or student  
ano... : uh...  
mattaku: really!; geez!; man!  
kuso: shit  
arigatou: thank you  
hai: yes   
hontou ni: really  
demo: but  
ara: an expression of surprise (generally used by women)  
iie: no  
eeto... : um... ; let me see...  
yokatta: thank goodness  
baka: dummy; idiot


End file.
